How network marketing brought me back in touch with unconditional love
My sister texted me that she had found a new customer for the Light Millionaires project, just by chatting with a stranger at her yoga school. I felt very happy for her, but sad and jealous as well. It brought me all the way back to my childhood drama: that so well-known feeling that my sister is always luckier than I am.
I had thoughts like:
- She already has successfully introduced six people to this and I only have someone signed up because my sister let me sponsor a mutual friend of ours that SHE actually inspired to start using the products.
- Everything she touches magically turns into a success, while I have to deal with all this shit.
- I bet it isn’t even as hard for her (emotionally) as it is for me, and she gets al the rewards.
- Why is life so unfair?
- This happens all the time! With the amount of friends at high school, with writing books, with attractiveness, with humor, with driving lessons. She just has all the good stuff and I am this failing, chubby, scared loser.
- “Los-er” The sound of my name is even in that word! I was destined to suck at life.
- I should quit everything I am doing because she will do it better anyway.
When I see it written down here it sounds a bit funny, but at that moment the thoughts were very real and very painful.
Connecting with my inner child
I remembered what my mastermind buddy had told me in our last session, and tried to allow myself to feel what I felt as a child. Bwam. Tears were coming full speed ahead. While in the meantime I was convinced I am no good at doing inner child/shadow work, and that I couldn’t possibly be healing my inner child. But despite those thoughts I sticked with the crying, letting it all out and hoping it would be of some help.
I hid under the blankets and grabbed my stuffed animal, Langoor. As some of you might have known, I am projecting my Inner Nurturer on her. She gave me all the time I needed to cry and when I had calm down a little, told me that she could so very much relate to me, and that it was nothing but logical that I felt this way.
Finding the lesson
My mastermind buddy had told me that when you are no longer looking at your story from a place of hurt, you could start looking for the lessons. But I didn’t have a clue about what the lesson possibly could be. And I was convinced that even if I would learn some kind of lesson like ‘I am just as beautiful as my sister’ it was a fucked up lesson because I could just have thought that from the start.
But I did start to try remember those things I am better at then she is.
My sister is the star when it comes to the quantity of contacts. She makes new friends as if it is easy. Everyone instantly loves her and nobody will forget she was at the party. She’s that kind of person.
I am that kind of person who is still having and identity crisis about being an introvert or extrovert, because although I love meeting new people, it is so easy for me to stay quiet and invisible. But what I did realize some time ago was that I might be better at having close relationships. I used to have very little friends, but I have always had more people that I was really intimate with.
That was when it hit me!
My sister was doing this network marketing thing her way: by quantity. By being the queen of the party.
And I am not like that!! Could it be possible that in one year time, she and I would have the same amount of money made with this project – while she would have dozens of people in her first line, and I would just have a few? A few that are very close to my heart, that I coach in the way that I make friendships: very intimate and therefor with a lot of value per person. (And maybe my closeness and openness is also how I will attract those people, how I will show the right people that it’s right for them.)
How do I want to pay network marketing forward?
It has just been one night since this epiphany. Maybe I’ll get back to this tomorrow. For sure I will get back on this at some (temporary?) point in my journey. But right now it lights my fire and feeds my trust in the universe!
Which made me realize another beautiful thing about network marketing: I can choose how to pay this forward.
When I started this adventure, I thought there were some basic things to learn, and that it was my job to pass that forward to my downline (my team members, their team members etc). Probably I will do that. But I realized it is so much better then that!
I can choose what I hold valuable to pass forward! And I am me, and I like to teach people about self-love and self-expression and personal development. So that is what will be my gift to my downline.
And when I think about my downline that way, I feel like an old, loving granny who wants to teach her children and grandchildren the best because she loves them so much. Which may sound weird because I don’t yet know who those children are…but thinking about teaching them gives me a feeling of such unconditional love.
1. What I want to teach the persons I am going to sponsor, and thus the team they will build:
Do this adventure in a way that resonates with YOU. It is absolutely possible.
I will teach you how the pro’s do it. I will show you how I did it. But know that you only have to adapt from those stories what matches with YOU. And that it’s totally possible to ditch every advice that doesn’t match, and still be successful at network marketing.
2. Network marketing can be a really rocky road. You must always make it a priority to care for yourself FIRST.
Give yourself everything you need to feel comfortable continuing this path. Take breaks if you need to. Soothe yourself if you need to. Surround yourself with support. Don’t allow this project to make you suffer.
Of course, there will be tough times that might hurt you and you will be facing blocks and limiting beliefs. But while struggling with (aka healing) those, and while standing your ground and while thinking you should give all of this up – take care of yourself. Be gentle and loving and everything you need.